What needs do you have?

Thank you all for your support of The Connected Way™. It is a strange thing to feel moments of inspiration during this time of crisis, but I will continue follow what calls me and share when it feels right to do so. I continue to think of all of you and send you healthy and positive vibes. And now, I want to share some thoughts on our needs:

Someone I once dated used to ask me, “What needs do you have?” typically in regards to whether I wanted a drink or a bathroom or something of the sort.

At the time, I was swept up in our connection and just thought it was a sweet gesture. Once we parted ways, I found myself eventually asking friends the same thing when they were visiting or I was chatting with them. And then over time, I’ve realized the potential depth of it. What an opportunity this question poses for us to check in with ourselves and actually listen.

The last ten years have taught me how busy and hurried I was for so much of my life, and how disconnected that busyness made me. So I have been learning to listen to myself. To listen to what I actually need and want in any given moment as well as in a larger perspective.

For me personally, as well as from what I’ve heard from clients something started to shift on Monday (we are mostly on the east coast and in the Midwest for reference). Last week, we were in chaos, trying to wrap our heads around the fact that this was happening and responding to daily changes and shifts. And this week, reality seems to be setting in a bit more.

So, as you navigate the waves of emotion this brings as well as figuring out how you will live with this new norm (for however long it will last), I hope that you will take moments to check in. Consider for yourself: “what needs do you have?” and consider/ask others in your house and in your life (including the tiny humans), “what needs do you have?”

We are shifting to a time when our needs are more of the focus. We are shifting back to what is true, what is real and what really matters. And I’m not talking about clearing out your closet or donating all your kids toys. I’m talking about your innate needs.

Ask your Body: “What needs do you have?
Do you need something to drink?
Do you need something to eat?
Do you need fresh air or to feel the sun on your face?
Do you need to move? Gentle movement or a big burst of movement?
Do you need to vocalize – to scream? to sing?
Do you need to rest?
What needs does your body have?

Ask your Spirit (or your heart): “what needs do you have?”
Do you need to cry? Or laugh?
Do you need to be held?
Do you need to be still and breathe?
Do you need time to yourself?
Do you need to just take a break and not be in your head for a moment?
Do you need to connect – To talk to someone else? To feel supported?
What needs does your Spirit have?

Once we recognize our needs, we might need to get creative with meeting them these days. Like walking alone outside and singing out our energy, or doing online dance and yoga classes.

There is also grief in recognizing that some of our needs cannot be met, especially when it comes to connection. Admittedly, I have become more and more aware of my need for physical touch. I am an affectionate person and love giving and receiving hugs. Not particularly an option right now, but I allow myself to honor the emotions in the lack of it and also comfort myself in other ways, like really cozy blankets I can burrito myself into.

We are often so busy and don’t have time to A) hear and listen to our needs, and B) actually meet those needs. Well, now is an excellent chance for us to do that. I hope that you will check in with yourself and hear what your body, mind and spirit need. Let your emotions and your biorhythms shift with the shifting tides around you, and take care of your needs to the best of your ability, while also allowing for and honoring the emotions that accompany the reality of needs that cannot be met.

This filter and perspective can be used in any given moment, as well as in considering the structure of your time during this new way of living. If you have a partner, loved one, and even children in your home, you can use this filter to brainstorm what needs we can fulfill each day and then structure your schedule accordingly. This can actually be a fun project with kids and it can help them to feel engaged in the plans and flow of the day. If you all share your needs with each other and they are organized throughout the day/week, they may feel more accountable to what’s happening and meeting everyone else’s needs also. It’s can be a different filter or framework to work/live within.

A general note: I acknowledge that there are many different ways of experiencing this time. I am on my own right now, which has its ups and downs. Many friends and clients have young children who they are trying to care for and entertain. Ups and downs. Many have family members (blood related or chosen) that they are directly or indirectly caring for. Some are sick. Some are working harder than ever in important, essential roles. Some have more stresses than others. In whatever situation you are in, if it feels good for you to take a moment to check in and ask yourself or others “what needs do you have?”, please do. And if someone else can help you meet those needs, please ask them. We are all in this together and we are being reminded to lean on one another during this time.

If one of your needs is to talk to someone or get support from an outside source, I am here. I would love to support you. One of my needs right now is to be of service. I am coming up with some creative ways to help folks during this time of instability, but if you are in need of support, please just reach out and we’ll figure out how to make it work. Additionally, if you have a need you think I could help to meet, please don’t hesitate to just let me know. What I do is in support of you, so I am all ears!

I am thinking of all of you and I hope that you are able to recognize your needs and that they’re met as much as possible. And I hope most of all that your need for health and safety is met.