21 Aug Soul Decisions on a Soul Path
Yet again, it’s been a while since I’ve been in touch. But this time, it is for a fun reason… I very unexpectedly got a puppy! In fact, he just jumped up onto a deck chair to sit with me as I write this email (which may last 30 seconds). Actually, it lasted 10 because now he’s on the table. So yeah, it’s been a bit hard to find/create a moment to write to you. But I miss you and I’ve really been wanting to reconnect, so here we go.
I have had quite a few moments in the past month+ that I’ve had thoughts I’ve wanted to share with you, but yesterday I realized what I really want to share. I want to share how I ended up with Taco (the puppy) and how it relates to my living The Connected Way™.
I have been thinking about getting a dog for a number of years. About this time last year, I decided it was time for me to do it. And then, as they say, life is what happens to your plans. And “life” kept happening to that plan. First it was a wrist surgery with subsequent complications and dramatically extended recovery time, a home renovation project, travel, and then, a yeah, a pandemic. And of course from there, The Connected Way™ rose up and became my focus. But a couple months into the pandemic, it felt like time again and I really started to look for my dog.
And again “life” happened to that plan too. I applied to adopt a few adult dogs and was approved, but the dogs were already adopted (such a wonderful thing that there are more people now wanting pets than pets available!). Then, I decided perhaps it was best for me to find a breeder because I wanted a dog that would be able to go to work with me, be supportive for in-person clients, and be great with my friends and family, including children. I located a breeder in Maine, and they even had an adult dog that they were considering finding a home for. But over time, that situation didn’t feel quite right either and they decided they couldn’t say goodbye to the dog. Eventually, because of all the ups and downs, I decided to put the dog idea on the back burner.
Then, about a month ago, while texting about rescheduling a meeting, a close friend shared with a group of us that she was on her way south to pick up a puppy. WHAT?! She sent us a picture of a dog that was exactly the dog I have dreamt of having for over ten years – a mini goldendoodle. I was excited for her, but my stronger emotion was jealousy. And not just normal jealousy, more like heartbreak. I furiously texted her to ask how she had found one and what were the details, etc. Instead of texting me back, she called. I picked up the phone and without even a greeting, she said with a noticeable smile in her voice: “do you want one?” I thought she was kidding at first, which she wasn’t – she thought there was another one available. Then I thought she was crazy – of course not. And then I wondered if it really was crazy. She had apparently been considering telling me about these puppies but knew I had put the idea aside so was torn about it. But when I texted her, she knew she needed to offer. She was on her way already so I had four hours to decide if I wanted her to bring me home a puppy.
Here’s the reason I’m actually telling you this story: for those four hours, I had two very different experiences concurrently. In my head, I was running through all the reasons it was a bad idea – “would I be a bad dog mom? Should I really do it alone? Would it take away from the path I was on and the momentum I was building with my purpose, with The Connected Way™and beyond? Etc. Etc. Etc.” And at the same time, in my heart, all I was hearing was “YES. This is your dog. This is your dog. This is your dog.” I called my closest people and talked to them about it and then I started noticing signs: Involuntarily crying talking about a relationship with a dog being a sacred practice and a partnership; the first monarch butterfly showing up at my milkweed (I had been watching for them for weeks); realizing the next day (the day I would meet him) was the anniversary of my parent’s beloved dogs passing. And really, I didn’t have the option to say no. As much as my head told me not to, my heart and won out.
This was a soul/heart decision – not an ego/mind decision. And so, I said yes. I trusted this friend completely and told her that if she thought he was my dog to bring him home. And she did. She knew he was mine. And he was. The minute I showed up at her house the next day to pick him up, he stood up, barked and ran over to me and crawled into my arms (he hadn’t done this with anyone else he had met). He is absolutelymy dog – he is the most social being I think I’ve ever met. And he is confident, adorable, head-strong and so cuddly and loving. I feel beyond joyful and also it has been pretty consuming but a month in, we’re now finding our balance.
And so here we are – he is now curled up asleep on the deck chair beside me, emitting love and joy. He would not be here if I had listened to my ego mind. He would not be here if I had believed my doubting thoughts. He would not be here if I wasn’t open to the signs and guidance. As is true with every powerful big decision I’ve made, this decision came from within, it was scary as hell and it was absolutely a leap of faith. This is how it felt when I left my job without a plan ten years ago. This is how it felt when I chose to go live and work at a retreat center for a season instead of getting another job. This is how it felt when I chose to train as a coach. This is how it felt when I chose to move to Maine. I know this is how it feels when my clients choose to leave a job or a relationship, to start a business or make a big move.
These decisions don’t rely on pros and cons lists or rational thinking. They are about our inner guidance system, which comes from connection to ourselves, connection to a knowing that is just known. And they require that we trust the signs, we trust ourselves and we trust our knowing. They are not part of a plan, in fact they’re the opposite. I have realized over the years that a plan is an ego construct and really, we are not meant to be living by a plan, but rather meant to follow a path, a soul path. And on the path, we are guided and shown signs about where to go next. Taco is part of my path.
Taco is now the official mascot of The Connected Way™ because he may arguably be more driven by connection than I am. And he’s sure teaching me a lot about connection and myself as well. My hope for you is that you will always notice the signs and guidance from within you and around you, and make decisions with your heart and soul, especially when they really call to you.
I am thinking of all of you and will be in touch soon with some exciting stuff I’ve been working on!
In love and light,
The Connected Way™
P.S. Taco will occasionally pop up on Instagram on @theconnectedway and you can also follow him directly to receive some of his love and joy and connection @tacoverdethepup (yes, I am one of those dog moms). 😉